I Told My Best Friend Toxic Masculinity Isn’t Real. This is what happened​.

I Told My Best Friend Toxic Masculinity Isn't Real. This is what happened​.

In a casual conversation about life, politics, and a little gossip about past significant others – your normal “female
best friends” sort of chat – my best friend turned to me and declared that her ex boyfriend
was a product of toxic masculinity. I told her that I don’t accept the idea of toxic masculinity, and that
in fact, pardon my French, her ex was just a screwed up person and an a**hole.

I got that familiar look that virtually all conservatives are used to.

You know the one – the “you are bucking the norm, why are you challenging me, I feel you are outrageous for questioning me” look!

Here’s how toxic masculinity is defined by Geek Feminist:

 Toxic masculinity is one of the
ways in which Patriarchy is harmful to men. It refers to the socially-constructed
attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually
aggressive, and so forth.

As Dana Loesch said during her C-PAC speech, I call

First, I am a woman who doesn’t buy in to this feminist, new age,
unnecessary mumbo jumbo, but for this I make an exception. First, I don’t believe that patriarchy is harmful to men. It sets a structure for traditional families to thrive, as they have for decades in the United States. Patriarchy makes
leaders out of men, and no, it is not at the expense of women being able to lead. No one is going around holding women down – except maybe the minds of feminists themselves.

The patriarchy built this nation, and it lead men to industrialization, a unique governmental structure, and hundreds of years of innovation. This patriarchal structure was the base which the United States was built on.

 If  it wasn’t for men, women and children wouldn’t have survived the harsh conditions. Due to our biology, we as women lack the ability to be self-sufficient in the long era of history before the age of industrialization!
I know, I know: at this point, if you’re a feminist, you’re telling me I have internalized misogyny. The thing is, I don’t. I find the concept itself fictitious, but that’s a topic for another day. I have no qualms about letting men lead, appreciating their efforts, or supporting their natural male roles and masculinity.

Women should be supporting men instead of tearing them down.

Sometimes A+B= AB, not C. We aren’t the same, we aren’t one combined entity! We both have equal human value, but we have different roles. We should be complementing each other, not trying to change each other. Men and women should work together towards our larger societal goals. Anti-male rhetoric is what is truly toxic because it divides the population versus uniting us.

The definition of toxic masculinity states that men are harmed by socially constructed roles that portray them as violent, unemotional and sexually aggressive. Men and boys are portrayed as violent, when they interact, play and rough-house around with each other, which are natural ways of bonding, releasing male energy
and participating in societal norms regarding greetings, play and so on. It is our feminist culture which sees these things as being negative!

And thus, men are constantly told to be more like women. Told to be quiet, to sit still, to learn the same as women in the classroom, when biologically boys are different than girls. They get slapped with the “ADHD” and “disruptive student” labels, when really they are just trying to fit in to this perfect box when their biology is against them every step of the way!

We need to take hormonal and biological differences between the sexes into account.

While society may push for men to become more emotional or tell them they should cry more often, most men don’t feel like they are being stifled or are unable to express emotions if they would like to do so because of the current
state of our society that praises men for being sensitive. Men are not women! Men,  particularly healthy “alpha males”, tend to value, strength, composure, and seeing themselves as protectors. There is a push for
the “beta male” to take over as the real man in society and to label anything that is “alpha” or even clearly traditionally “male,” as toxic.

It isn’t men that are toxic as a whole – it’s feminism and its projection of how men should act or be that is toxic.

Men should be allowed to be men. Sorry, best friend: sometimes a jerk is just a jerk.